بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Nafsiya Reflections: No Angels amongst Men
Assalamo alaikum and welcome to today’s episode of Nafsiyah reflections- No Angels Amongst Men.
Have you ever felt betrayed by a close friend or even a family member and you are struggling to let go of it? Every time you see them or talk to them, the feeling of betrayal or anger comes in your heart and this could go on for years. At times we are unable to forget the things people have done to us.
So what are the reasons that prevent us from getting rid of the grudges that we hold in our heart?
Sometimes, our expectations of others are very high - we forget that they, LIKE US, can also make mistakes.
They’re not angels but fallible human beings.
Islam recognises the weak nature of man. From the very early lesson of the creation of Adam(A.S) we understand the limited capability of man, where Adam (AS) made an error and sought forgiveness from Allah (swt).
And so Islam encourages us to be forgiving towards others.
But why can we not forgive so easily?
We might say, “I have forgiven that person”, but since we can’t forget what happened - it still affects our behaviour towards them. This is not really letting go of what happened.
Forgiveness means not carrying a grudge, not ignoring the person - but treating them well, without any resentment in your heart.
Certainly, this is an issue of the nafsiyyah. When our pride or ego is hurt, we overcome the issue according to the strength of our Islamic personalities.
In these circumstances, one must remember the words of Allah swt in Surah Nur, verse 22. Bismillah ar rahman ar raheem,
وَلْيَعْفُوا وَلْيَصْفَحُوا ۗ أَلَا تُحِبُّونَ أَن يَغْفِرَ اللَّـهُ لَكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّـهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ
“ and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.”
The western culture that surrounds us in the capitalist societies that we live in, makes it very difficult for individuals to take the higher ground and forgive and forget.
This is because the secular way of life affects the very foundation of our mutual relationships.
If the manner in which we relate to each other is not closely tied with our aqeedah, surely we will treat each other according to our own egos. Hence the purpose of the relationship will change from one that pleases the Creator, to one that solely aims to secure mutual gain and satisfaction.
This renders a relationship to man-made whims - so we become judgmental and angry if someone lets us down and we hold grudges in our heart. All because THIS SYSTEM cultures a secular mindset that seeks reciprocal benefits, rather than sacrificing for the pleasure of the Creator.
Forgiveness is one such sacrifice - that is made in the nafs, for the progression of a relationship. At the very core of it, should lie the pursuit of divine satisfaction - and we find the best examples of this in none other than the Sunnah of our Prophet saw.
When he forgave the one who murdered his uncle and ate from his liver, or when he forgave those who abused and taunted him - even when he had the ability to retaliate.
If he (saw) was able to forgive these extreme heart wrenching actions for the sake of Allah, then why can we not overlook mistakes that may not ever be so grave?
As Muslims, we must make sincere efforts to explore our thinking and eradicate the grudges that we hold towards others, by renewing our intention to forgive them each time we feel resentment towards them.
After all, there is much reward in adopting the divine attribute of ‘forgiveness’ - and much hope then, for one’s own errors and sins to be pardoned by the Creator swt as well.
May Allah(swt) give us the fortitude to forgive others for their faults and may He (swt) forgive us for our own shortcomings. Ameen.
JazakAmullah khairan for joining us, until next time.
Wasalaam u alaykum wa rahamatullahee wa barakthu hu.