بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Muslim Family: A Model to be Emulated
(Translated)
Allah (swt) has sent His Messenger with guidance ... He sent him (saw) so that Islam becomes the religion which Allah has accepted for His servants, so its provisions organized their lives and guided them. It took care of all the great and small matters and provided treatments for all the problems that beset the human in his family and in his community, so he lived reassured, enclosed by the care of Islam and its provisions from every side. Islam is a creed from which its system emanates, and when it prevailed the world, it best ruled it. And when it led it, it was the best leadership that brought humanity together under the banner of La Illaha illa Allah, “There is no god but Allah”, on which it applied the provisions of the Creator, hence, justice prevailed, and tranquility was prevalent.
But with the absence of Islam and its rulings from the lives of Muslims, calamities have been afflicting them, and they became like orphans at the feast of the wicked people, being bandied by the interests of the greedy colonial states that seek to win the wealth of the Muslim lands and strive to completely exclude Islam from life to replace it with its own rotten materialistic civilization.
Islam has been absent, and man became "dead", driven by instincts and needs, where his only concern is to satisfy them and in any way. He walks in this world without guidance after Islam was his light and a beacon by which he lived a good life.
﴿يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اسْتَجِيبُوا لِلَّهِ وَلِلرَّسُولِ إِذَا دَعَاكُمْ لِمَا يُحْيِيكُمْ﴾
“O you who have believed, respond to Allah and to the Messenger when he calls you to that which gives you life.” [Al-Anfal: 24].
Islam has been absent and the Muslim family, which is reassured by understanding, love and harmony, has turned into an arena of conflict in which every individual thinks that he is right and the other contradicts him and causes him discomfort and anxiety. When we contemplate the situation of the Muslim family today and what it became, we see it dispersed and disintegrated, its members floundering in a reality governed by a corrupt capitalist system that propagates Western concepts that contradict the concepts of their Islamic ideology, so they became strangers separated from the provisions of their Deen, bandied by the concepts of this capitalist system which is applied on them and suffocate their breath. They are eager for their Deen and its rulings, which have fortified the family and protected it to create balanced, stable and strong generations that defend their Deen, support it and spread it to the world, to bring it out from the darkness of the deficient manmade systems to the light of the complete Islam.
To set up a Muslim house, Islam has put its provisions to establish it on solid and fixed pillars, the first being to build the house that brings together a good Muslim couple. Allah (swt) has urged His servants to choose the good husband and the good wife. «اخْتَارُوا لِنُطَفِكُمُ الْمَوَاضِعَ الصَّالِحَةَ»“Choose the right places for your children”. Since the house is a fortress that must be fortified; and must be strong, solid, coherent and standing in front of tremors and challenges.
The family in Islam is based on good companionship and good manners ... Abu Darda told his wife, "If you see me angry then work to please me and if I saw you angry I will work to please you, otherwise we will not be able accompany each other," urging its members to the obedience and worship. Thus, the Muslim should treat his family well, advise them, remind them of the good deeds and instill in them competition for the virtuous things and the pursuit to win the rewards
﴿وَأْمُرْ أَهْلَكَ بِالصَّلاةِ وَاصْطَبِرْ عَلَيْهَا لا نَسْأَلُكَ رِزْقًا نَّحْنُ نَرْزُقُكَ وَالْعَاقِبَةُ لِلتَّقْوَى﴾
“And enjoin prayer upon your family [and people] and be steadfast therein we ask you not for provision; We provide for you and the [best] outcome is for [those of] righteousness?” [Taha: 132]
Parents adhere to Allah and abide by the provisions He commanded, bringing up their children on them and caring for them the best care. They teach them their Deen and make them yearn for Paradise and what bring close to it and intimidate and frighten them from Fire and acts that throw them at it.
The Muslim family was built on obedience to Allah, combining the spouses with a strong and stable bond, each sought to find a partner to help him or her in his/ her Deen, correcting one another when they make a mistake and urging each other to perform acts of obedience and obtain the satisfaction of the Lord of the heavens. Imam Ahmad narrated in his Musnad with a Hassan Isnad that Abu Huraira (ra) said: The Messenger of Allah (saw) said: «رَحِمَ اللَّهُ رَجُلًا قَامَ مِنَ اللَّيْلِ فَصَلَّى، وَأَيْقَظَ امْرَأَتَهُ فَصَلَّتْ، فَإِنْ أَبَتْ نَضَحَ فِي وَجْهِهَا الْمَاءَ، رَحِمَ اللَّهُ امْرَأَةً قَامَتْ مِنَ اللَّيْلِ فَصَلَّتْ، وَأَيْقَظَتْ زَوْجَهَا، فَإِنْ أَبَى نَضَحَتْ فِي وَجْهِهِ الْمَاءَ».“May Allah show mercy to a man who gets up during the night and performs Salat, awakens his wife to pray and if she refuses, he sprinkles water on her face (to make her get up). May Allah show mercy to a woman who gets up during the night and performs Salat, awakens her husband, and if he refuses, she sprinkles water on his face”.
Thus are the lives of the spouses; they work to satisfy their Lord and help one another to obedience, and on this they care for the children and on these grounds they bring them up. Muslim narrated from Jaber bin Abdullah (ra) said that he heard the Prophet (saw) saying: «إِذَا دَخَلَ الرَّجُلُ بَيْتَهُ، فَذَكَرَ اللَّهَ عِنْدَ دُخُولِهِ وَعِنْدَ طَعَامِهِ، قَالَ الشَّيْطَانُ: لَا مَبِيتَ لَكُمْ، وَلَا عَشَاءَ، وَإِذَا دَخَلَ، فَلَمْ يَذْكُرِ اللَّهَ عِنْدَ دُخُولِهِ، قَالَ الشَّيْطَانُ: أَدْرَكْتُمُ الْمَبِيتَ، وَإِذَا لَمْ يَذْكُرِ اللَّهَ عِنْدَ طَعَامِهِ، قَالَ: أَدْرَكْتُمُ الْمَبِيتَ وَالْعَشَاءَ»“If a person mentions the word of Allah when entering his house or his eating, Satan says, addressing his followers: “You will find no where to spend the night and no dinner”. But if he enters without mentioning the Name of Allah, Satan says, to his followers: “You have found a place to spend the night in, and if he does not mention the Name of Allah at the time of eating, Satan says: “You have found a place to spend the night in as well as dinner”.
The spouses must divide and distribute the responsibilities so that the ship will proceed with cooperation among its passengers, each has a role to play with love, satisfaction, affection and compassion. On the authority of Al-Aswad who said: I asked Aisha: What did the Prophet (saw) use to do at home? She replied: «كَانَ يَكُونُ فِي مِهْنَةِ أَهْلِهِ - تَعْنِي خِدْمَةَ أَهْلِهِ - فَإِذَا حَضَرَتِ الصَّلاَةُ خَرَجَ إِلَى الصَّلاَةِ»“He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was time for Salat, he would get up for the Salat”. (Narrated by al-Bukhari). So was the best one sent by the Lord of the Worlds as a mercy to them, he was their best to his family. He was kind and compassionate to his wives. This is how he raised the Muslims, and thus how he laid the foundations of the Muslim family and began with the spouses who are caring for the children and who are raising them up, so he determined for them the legal path to build the children's personalities.
They must teach their children that Allah's are the creation and the command, and that all the ruling is for none but Him and that He has no partner. They entrench in them to cherish their Deen and work to support it and uphold its word. They teach them the kind of words that our Prophet and our example (saw) taught to his cousin Abdullah bin Abbas may Allah be pleased with them:
«يَا غُلامُ، إِنِّي مُعَلِّمُكَ كَلِمَاتٍ: احْفَظِ اللَّهَ يَحْفَظْكَ، احْفَظِ اللَّهَ تَجِدْهُ تُجَاهَكَ، وَإِذَا سَأَلْتَ فاَسْأَلِ اللَّهَ، وَإِذَا اسْتَعَنْتَ فَاسْتَعِنْ بِاللَّهِ، وَاعْلَمْ أَنَّ الْأُمَّةَ لَوِ اجْتَمَعُوا عَلَى أَنْ يَنْفَعُوكَ، لَمْ يَنْفَعُوكَ إِلا بِشَيْءٍ قَدْ كَتَبَهُ اللَّهُ لَكَ، وَلَوِ اجْتَمَعُوا عَلَى أَنْ يَضُرُّوكَ، لَمْ يَضُرُّوكَ إِلا بِشَيْءٍ قَدْ كَتَبَهُ اللَّهُ عَلَيْكَ، رُفِعَتِ الْأَقْلامُ، وَجَفَّتِ الصُّحُفُ»
“O young man, I shall teach you some words of advice: Be mindful of Allah and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, then ask Allah alone; and if you seek help then seek help from Allah alone. And know that if the nation were to gather to benefit you with anything, they would not benefit you except with what Allah has already prescribed for you. And if they were to gather to harm you with anything, they would not harm you except with what Allah had already prescribed against you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.”
The love in Allah is what combines the members of the Muslim family, and on which they gather together, and they cooperate among themselves on righteousness and piety. They strive to perform the duties and each one of them favors the other over himself, so he lives loving them, working to satisfy them as long as that satisfies their Lord. This is what the Muslim family is, as long as it is guided, controlled, protected and safeguarded by Islam. But when Islam becomes absent from it, it is turned into a disintegrated family, clouded by egoism and self-love.
This is the model that should be emulated! This is the family that must be in Muslim countries! The adoption of this model requires a radical change in the prevailing ideas and concepts ... it necessitates the eradication of this rotten civilization, which sat on the breath of Muslims and made them live disconnected, hesitant, and strangers!! Muslims must restore their pure, clean concepts that decorated their lives and made them live secured, cherished, strong leaders and masters of this world!
Written for the Central Media Office of Hizb ut Tahrir by
Zeinah As-Samit