News and Comment What it means to raise children for the Muslimah
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
News:
Muslim women in the West face a great challenge - Raising their children. Firstly there is a need to correctly understand the responsibility, and then actually pursue it.
Comment:
Ibn ‘Umar said, I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace say:
أَلَا كُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ، وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ، فَالْأَمِيرُ الَّذِي عَلَى النَّاسِ رَاعٍ، وَهُوَ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ، وَالرَّجُلُ رَاعٍ عَلَى أَهْلِ بَيْتِهِ، وَهُوَ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْهُمْ، وَالْمَرْأَةُ رَاعِيَةٌ عَلَى بَيْتِ بَعْلِهَا وَوَلَدِهِ، وَهِيَ مَسْئُولَةٌ عَنْهُمْ، وَالْعَبْدُ رَاعٍ عَلَى مَالِ سَيِّدِهِ، وَهُوَ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْهُ، أَلَا فَكُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ، وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ
"All of you are shepherds and each of you is responsible for his flock. An Imam is a shepherd and he is responsible for those in his care. A man is a shepherd in respect of his family and is responsible for those in his care. The woman is a shepherd in respect of her husband's house and is responsible for those in her care... All of you are shepherds and each of you is responsible for his flock."
Indeed this hadith has is fuel most mothers in those times when it feels like they are the wrong person for the job. For those times when all the physical demands of looking after children come all at once this hadith is the reminder that children are the lofty amanah (trust) sent by Allah that one will be accountable for. So mothers keeps going the best they can.
Yes the hadanah (physical care) can be tough, but this never was what kept mothers up at night. Ask any Muslim mother, what her foremost worry is and for her, the worry of tending her flock by tending to what grants eternal success, or eternal damnation for them, is surely the greatest weight on her back.
((يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ))
"O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones," [Surah Tahreem: 6]
However this ayah is a reminder that unless one can best ensure they have held their children back from Hellfire, as a mother, as a Muslim mother, there is little or no success.
And today, in the world we live in, this task is so hard.
We live in a society where the very idea your whole life should be based around submission to a God, is banished to the small four walls of our homes. Secularism, we call it. And even in those four walls it is not safe. The culture created from secular liberal societies intoxicates its youth, luring them with all senses, maximised. Enjoying every possible sensual pleasure, seeking to own everything under the sun, living as though it is only you answer to in this world. It's the epic billboard glorification of illicit relationships, to the nuances of attitudes of a "me, myself and I" culture, all wrapped up enticingly - So how do Muslim mothers in the West compete?
Well, they cannot compete. Because we all know and believe, there is something higher to seek in life, than all of this - And we seek for our children to know this too.
The understanding of the certainty of a Creator, the love of a Messenger so pure and true, the grasp of a Deen solving every problem you stumble upon in life, and the bond of an Ummah you are from. As mothers we pledge to wholeheartedly struggle and strive to build this in our children bit by bit - if Allah (swt) allows. We can only make the utmost dua then, that such efforts spark the growth of their minds and hearts, so that they become unwaveringly shaped by this beauty - Al Islam.
There will be moments no doubt, when the Muslim youth in the West think these words don't compete with the Technicolor, kaleidoscopic indulgence that you will be given the option to dip into - But these words and this message comes not from the parents.
They come from the Creator of the Heavens and the Earth and all that is within it. His Words will unlock treasures in life - A life of iman (faith in Allah (swt)), a life in the pursuit of taqwa (God-consciousness) will bring pleasures unimaginable in the Hereafter, and real contentment in this life. Nothing in this temporary world, we must teach our children, is remotely comparable.
اعْلَمُوا أَنَّمَا الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا لَعِبٌ وَلَهْوٌ وَزِينَةٌ وَتَفَاخُرٌ بَيْنَكُمْ وَتَكَاثُرٌ فِي الْأَمْوَالِ وَالْأَوْلَادِ ۖ كَمَثَلِ غَيْثٍ أَعْجَبَ الْكُفَّارَ نَبَاتُهُ ثُمَّ يَهِيجُ فَتَرَاهُ مُصْفَرًّا ثُمَّ يَكُونُ حُطَامًا ۖ وَفِي الْآخِرَةِ عَذَابٌ شَدِيدٌ وَمَغْفِرَةٌ مِّنَ اللَّهِ وَرِضْوَانٌ ۚ وَمَا الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا إِلَّا مَتَاعُ الْغُرُورِ
"Know that the life of this world is but amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and children - like the example of a rain whose [resulting] plant growth pleases the tillers; then it dries and you see it turned yellow; then it becomes [scattered] debris. And in the Hereafter is severe punishment and forgiveness from Allah and approval. And what is the worldly life except the enjoyment of delusion." [Surah Hadid: 20]
Indeed being a mother has been a challenging mountain to climb - But most of all motherhood reveals for Muslim women how much patience, perseverance and reliance on Allah, one really has. And that most often, is the hardest realisation. But this journey of motherhood is a moving one, and as they develop it provides the mother with an opportunity to develop too.
May Allah aid me, and all the mothers who serve Allah by serving their children, in this task.
Written for the Central Media Office of Hizb ut Tahrir by
Umm Abdullah Khan
Women's Media Representative of Hizb ut Tahrir in Britain