Nafsiya Reflections: Respecting the Elderly and Honouring the Youth

Assalamu Alaikum and welcome to today’s episode... ‘respecting the elderly and honouring the youth.’

Europe and Britain in particular, the levels of elderly abuse are ever on the increase. Reports of homes broken into, robbed of a few basic belongings; and where the elderly occupant was beaten and brutalised are sadly not uncommon at all. Almost every few months the horrific injuries of the latest victim are splashed across the media, with calls for longer prison sentences and improved security measures, or extra neighborliness only.

Likewise, the abuse suffered in ‘care homes for the elderly ’ is a known and almost inevitable aspect of removing an elderly person from their own home, and them being placed by a relative into care. The neglect to respond to basic needs like being given water, assistance to the bathroom and to be moved in bed is the established norm... but to hear of beatings and physical abuse towards highly vulnerable patients with dementia, that often leads to death is sadly all too common as well.

For many, these revelations will be shocking, but when we examine the culture of a society that is clearly breeding this level of criminality... we see that it’s a recognisable outcome of hyper individualistic behaviour, enabled by secularism and personal freedom. The youth in western liberal secular society are encouraged to feel ‘free’ at every juncture in their lives. Every lesson of every subject taught at schools, from nursery until university their own personal freedom and lack of accountability is encouraged.

Add to this the natural dysfunction of capitalism, which fails to correctly bond members of society because of its emphasis on the value of ‘benefit’, and the unspoken division of race and class.

It is this toxic ideology and value system, that has produced and made common, this vile criminality. It’s no surprise that the capitalist nations of western Europe, Australia and Japan have such high cases of elderly abuse; whereas developing countries, although riddled with crime, corruption, kidnapping and murder have noticeably less experience of this.

Islam considers the respect of the elderly as an integral aspect of belief in Allah swt and His Messenger (saw). It places a very high value upon parents, and the duty and respect they are afforded is above all others.  Abu Hurayrah narrated from RasulAllah saw, when he said: Let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust. It was asked: Ya RasulAllah, who is he? He said: He who sees either of his parents during their old age or he sees both of them, but he does not enter Paradise. (Sahih Muslim).

Likewise, all the elderly members of the family and community are given respect and recognition, by those younger than them; and their wisdom and experience is valued and seen to be worthy of emulation. The way to address an older person harshly is not from the Islamic culture, nor could it ever be acceptable to allow physical or emotional harm to come to them. rather, to lower the wing of humility and overlook their mistakes is encouraged.

The most successful communities and families, are where the younger members give love and respect to all the elders among them, even their non Muslim neighbours, and even teachers... because we extend our tradition of respect to our ulema as well. We respect the one who has dedicated his or her life to studying the Deen for the good of mankind, and sacrificed worldly benefits and trivialities, because these individuals are our role models.

However, to respect and honour a person does not end with the elderly. Islam obliges kindness and excellent treatment to the young as well. Our tradition proves that the youth are to be encouraged in religion and academia. They should be encouraged to participate in discussions with their elders and their contributions should be appreciated and considered as they gain life experience of their own. Also their age and mentality should be accomodated, because childhood itself is a blessing from Allah swt. As narrated in a hadith by Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As:

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، وَابْنُ السَّرْحِ، قَالاَ حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ، عَنِ ابْنِ أَبِي نَجِيحٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عَامِرٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو، يَرْوِيهِ - قَالَ ابْنُ السَّرْحِ - عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ "‏ مَنْ لَمْ يَرْحَمْ صَغِيرَنَا وَيَعْرِفْ حَقَّ كَبِيرِنَا فَلَيْسَ مِنَّا ‏"‏

Those who do not show mercy to our young ones and do not realize the right of our elders are not from us (Sunan Abu Dawud).

The ulema of the past used to say the youth should respect their elders as the amount of their good deeds have taken them closer to Jannah... and the elders should respect the youth because the amount of their sins have kept them further from Jannah. An Islamic society would spread the respect of the elderly and the youth via the state institutions as well as relying on the obedience to Islamic texts within family structures. It would take appropriate measures against individuals who abuse or refuse to care for their parents.... but also it would help families with any financial or physical assistance that they may need. Health care would be free under an Islamic state, as it is a basic necessity... and even if some contribution was needed, it would not be demanded of the needy and vulnerable.

The image of the elderly wouldn't be propagated as it is in western societies today, as it is in the media, news, and popular culture... as though the elderly are a burden on the population, and should have fewer rights because the quality of their lives is inherently poor now. Youth under Islam will have the honour they deserve, as the shining stars of the future of Islam; in return they will be secure enough to afford honour and respect to their elders too.

May Allah swt hasten the return of the Khilafah on the way of the Prophethood, so that on every level our Ummah can reflect the noble shariah, and guide the world in every good thing.

Jazakumullah Khairan for joining us, till next time... Walakum Assalam